Recruiting help

I got a fairly good response from sending mails in Shura, but the response in Wildlands was much less effective (possibly because I'm unknown there). At the time of writing this, 2 people joined, 2 more were considering joining, and I noticed a few guests lurking soon after the mails.

I wondered if there are improvements I could make to the mails I send in the future. Here they are below. They are broken into 3 parts due to the character limit for mails.

Hi. Want to help change JD for the better?

Many people are getting banned, not receiving jaden they pay cash for, SJ not working, etc.

We are trying to make PWE listen to the players.

We have formed a council of Marshals & Warlords of the largest alliances.

Together we lead the most active players & biggest spenders.

PWE can't ignore us anymore.

Our goal is to improve JD, & PWE need our guidance to do it.

If you'd like to be part of this, please join our forum: tinyurl.com/JDUnited (direct link available if you dislike tinyurl).

Any suggestions to improve the messages?
I still have a lot of people to mail on Wildlands, and haven't started Doombog yet.
Of course, if anyone wanted to help send mails or find names, I would appreciate it a lot...

i just did a wc in db server we'll see what happens

dude hope that you didnt say this forum cuz this is only for marshals and warlords

Um yeah.... there are a few reasons for having only marshals and warlords here.
1: You are leaders, and are probably mature people
2: You are representatives of the players
3: Telling PWE that we have 40 marshals and warlords means a lot more than saying we have 60 players.
4: Logistics. It will be much more difficult to keep this project organized if it's not just marshals and warlords.

By the way, I'm changing the mails I send people, after getting "F U" spam from a warlord on Doombog server, because I sent a link:

Hi! As you know, PWE are famous for ignoring players & terrible customer support.

Alone we have no power, but together our voices will be so loud that PWE can't ignore us anymore.

Marshals & Warlords from all servers are gathering to represent the community.

If you want to help shake the very foundations of this game, mail me and I'll send a link to our forum.

I have the names of marshals and warlords of most large alliances (50+ members) in Shura, maybe 80% in Wildlands, 50% in Doombog, and haven't started with Billows yet. I'm going to be fairly busy for the next couple of days, so I'll make a start on Billows early next week.

If anyone wants to help me find more names from their servers, please let me know. I'll be able to showw you the names I have, and the ones I still need.
Big thanks to Sunako and Zarnot for their help so far.

Because I'm not so familiar with people outside of Shura, I found most names by roaming around R15 and TR, or by PMing people from the alliances.
But out of the (literally) 100's of people I've talked to, the reaction has been really positive. I've only had 2 people who reacted negatively, and that was because of the tinyurl link.